useless, but interesting to beed, statistics

for the 3 or 4 loyal readers that beed has you guys already know about statcounters as you have them on your blogs also.

for the folks that don't have a blog beed is gonna 'splain 'em to ya'. about a week after dahbeed started his blog, he got the idea that, "why don't i put one of those counter thingys on my blog so i'll know how many folks have visited it?"

so he googled (beed still contends that sounds like a sexual position....i.e. "oh hell yeah man, then i googled the livin' hell out of her!") the phrase webpage counter. being the good little researcher he is beed looked at several different sites that offered free counters. but beed didn't want one that made you include an ad for something like hemorroid ointment. and with a lot of them you do have to place an ad with them.

beed also didn't want some big honkin' flashing neon lights of vegas looking counter either. he wanted a small unobtrusive odometer style counter that would match the look of his blog page. ambiance is everything and beed wants your visit to his page to be a pleasant experience.....a visit to barnes and noble for a good read with some strong black coffee and some heated scones.

he finally found the one he wanted. it's from a place called statcounter dot com. there is a link for it on beed's blog. beed named the link is "a great website counter" (beed didn't exactly bust out the imagination sledgehammer on that one did he?) what beed didn't realize is that these little jobbers do a lot more than just count. they compile statistics too.

like what website the person just came from. what city and state they live in. their internet service provider. their i.p. address. how many times they have been there before. whether they wipe their ass with their left hand or right hand. well, beed just made up that last one but it would be cool as hell if it could tell you that.

beed's number of visits per day have slowly been increasing. one time beed mentioned his blog on a h.h. post and he had 167 visits that day but beed refuses to do that type of self promotion again so that number was definitely an aberration. if they can't figure out that "the village idiot done went global" with a line under it that turns your cursor into a finger is a link then beed ain't gonna beg them to look at his site. as beed's friend shunpiker says (he is brilliant by the way, he and beed do a vulcan mind meld at halftime of every game, it actually dims the lights in diddle arenar) "they're probably mouth breathers anyway".

here are the stats for visits per day. this is the average over the last month.

monday - 36
tuesday - 50
wednesday - 43
thursday - 54
friday - 41
saturday - 35
sunday - 29

what do these stats tell you? here's what they tell beed. look at the two lowest days, saturday and sunday. so that means a bunch of folks, oops beed means SLACKERS are surfing at work. get back to work you bunch of slackers or beed is gonna tell ya'lls boss. for the love of God, help raise american productivity.

beed did not use this weeks numbers as they have been climbing and beed promises he ain't dropped no hints on haven about his blog. he had 83 on tuesday, 63 on wednesday and has 45 today and it's 10 after 5 right now.

beed has some regular readers from greenville south cackalacky that seem to check in every day. some other regulars that check in almost daily hail from richmond califonia, reston virginia, atlanta georgia, and parker colorado. pretty eclectic mix, huh? most of his readers logically come from kentucky and tennessee as they prolly know beed from hilltopper haven and where do most western grads live, kentucky and tennessee.

for all of you regular readers and out of staters. drop beed a line in the comments section sometime and tell beed how you stumbled across his daily dose of idiocy.

oh, and lilliot mi hermanita (little sistah), you ain't the only one that is worldwide baby. beed has had visits from germany, canada (do they count?) and portugal. and there is one person that has landed on beed's casa the last two sundays from leeds england. beed can just picture some guy in a tweed blazer and a meerschaum pipe exclaiming "tally ho good man, i believe i'll see what that crazy bloke from across the pond has to say this fine sunday evening"

that's better than the guy from portugal. beed clicked on the referring link and there wasn't one word on the blog. but...........there was a cache of porn. it seemed that his purpose in life was to post one photo per day from some porn bonanza he had stumbled across. it wasn't really anything deviant (unless you can count a slight leaning towards doggy style as deviant and beed doesn't).

it was really funny. not one word. beed thought a blog was supposed to be someone's web log. a definition from dictionary dot com:

Main Entry:
blog
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog
Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger n


maybe this guy doesn't know how to spell or write. maybe his only form of communication is porn. when he wants his mother to bring him a glass of milk he breaks out a shot of some hot little vixen that is rather well endowed in the mammary glands portion of her body.

when he wants hot dogs for supper he breaks out........errrrrrr let's not go there beed. that visual is a bit much don't you think? that's almost as bad as the time beed said taking a good morning growler (beed tells his co-workers, hey i just delivered a baby down the hall) is an honorable way of releasing endorphins. one of beed's co-workers use to tell him "carter, the most overrated thing in the world is a piece of ass and the most underrated thing is the world is a good old country shit!"

now beed ain't sayin' he goes along with this line of thinking but it did give beed pause for thought.

the reason the stat counter is free is because their log is only for the last 100 visits. if you want a larger log then you have to pay a monthly service fee. beed is content with a log size of 100. when you install it you have an option in setup to exclude your ip addresses which beed did at both home and work so that number on the counter does not include any of the beedstahs visits to see if any of his homies have left him a message in the comments section.

there are about 4 or 5 of us that have most definitely turned into a mutual admiration society. we bounce back and forth from each other's blogs leaving comments. maybe we can call ourselves "the breakfast club" beed has dibs on the judd nelson character condray, that leaves you with emilio estevez or anthony michael hall. valerie, shari, and riovanya have to slug it out over who gets the molly ringwald and ally sheedy characters.

beed has all of their blog links on his site and checks them every day. shari gets beed's vote for best mommy in the world, and he ain't shittin' about that, he means it. riovanya definitely is an artist. condray has stranger dreams than dahbeed and then tells everyone about it! riovanya's sister, lilliot, is so freakin' good with the written word she has left beed in awe more than once. she also has 2 of the most adorable kids in the world.

she has caused the beedstah to get a little verklempt (talk amongst yourselves, i'll give you a topic, the progressive era was neither progressive nor an era.) when she has spoke about her little man learning how to walk. it took beed back to when his two boys were learning to walk and how excited the grownups would get and how big the smiles were on the boys that they were now mobile.

damn beed can ramble. gotta go folks. it's 6 o clock. beed has to come back in at 11:00 tonight for a staff meeting. that way all 3 shifts will be represented during tour turnover. beed don't really like it at all but he ain't the boss, he does what the boss tells him to do.

adios amigos,

the statman,

dahbeed