womans......beed loves 'em
disclaimer: beed didn't know what in the hell he was doing yesterday when he made the post about womans. he actually started a separate blog to post it. today beed found out how to keep them all on one page so he has copied and pasted it so now all of his diatribes will be on this homepage..... so solly for previous incompetence.
let's dispense with the obvious right off the bat. beed knows it ain't womans, it's women. but beed used to have a very good amigo (friend) that was puerto rican named carlos (charles). carlos was one of the most intelligent people that beed has run across in his travails and travels.
he was not only book smart but he grew up in one of the rough and tumble barrios (neighborhoods) of old san juan and he was extremely street wise and tough. he spent 20 years in uncle sam's service in the u.s. army. he arrived in the u.s. and couldn't speak a lick of english. when beed knew him, carlos still had a puerto rican accent but his english and his grammar was better than the average kentuckian. (yup beed knows that is a backhanded compliment and beed loves kentuckians as he are one now, but let's be honest, we can butcher the queens english)
when carlos would get excited he would make the occasional mistake and there was not much that excited him more than women. occasionally he would say "i tell u what dahbeed, i f'in love womans" u see, the plural of mujer (woman) in spanish is mujeres (women). there is no vocalic change, it doesn't change from mujer to mujar like we do with woman and women. u can see how he would make that common mistake, especially when it was a subject that excited him.
carlos was also from the old school latino thinking that womans were the flowers of the world and men were the bees and it was our requisite charge to try and pollinate as many flowers as we could. it didn't matter that he was married. beed will tell u this, as he has spent a lot of time in latin america and has spoken to both men and women on the subject. it is almost an accepted practice down there for a man to be married and still have a girlfriend on the side.the man is not to flaunt it. the wife does not like it at all but most women down there have an opinion that men are weak creatures of the flesh and cannot help themselves in this matter. and don't get caught ....... as latina women have terrible tempers ....... remember lorena bobbitt ..... she was a latina, nuff said.
that is one helluva long explanation to a title. beed is tired already and hasn't even really addressed his subject matter.
beed loves women. beed is married and loves his esposa but beed loves women. women are definitely the more refined creature of the species. beed loves their long elegant fingers. they don't have pudgy little cigars for digits like we men have. beed also loves women with long elegant necks. beed told ya'll in his first post he was one twisted sick individual and warned u about coming back for more of his daily insanity.
beed loves to watch women doing the little things that they would consider trivial but amaze dahbeed. whilst sitting at a red light this morning beed looked in his rear view mirror and there was a young lady, prolly late 20's with her daughter, prolly 8 or 9. it was a long light and beed watched as this woman started fluffing her hair and then running her fingers through it and finally pulled it into a pony tail and then put one of those things around it to hold it ....... aren't they called scrunchies or something like that?
that little skill has always amazed beed as he has watched women do it as easily as they take in a breath. but beed has never really thought it looked easy to do. they have to hold the tail, then take the scrunchie thing and pull it on and then stretch it out and repeat a couple more times.
since beed's progeny are both male creatures, he has never had a little girl that he would have to teach these life skills to. is there a guidebook somewhere that women use to teach their daughters all of these little skills of the land of estrogen? beed is just curious because as he said earlier, it is something women do as a second nature and it is something that beed loves. keep it up women, u will never know when a twisted, sick individual like dahbeed is watching u do something that u consider trivial and he considers amazing.
due to an extremely strong will, and a deep seated fear of going to either jail or a sanatorium, beed has yet to rush up to a woman fixing a pony tail and blurt out "I THINK I'M IN LOVE FOR THE 97,895TH TIME!!!!!!"
your sick friend,
the honorable sir beedly
let's dispense with the obvious right off the bat. beed knows it ain't womans, it's women. but beed used to have a very good amigo (friend) that was puerto rican named carlos (charles). carlos was one of the most intelligent people that beed has run across in his travails and travels.
he was not only book smart but he grew up in one of the rough and tumble barrios (neighborhoods) of old san juan and he was extremely street wise and tough. he spent 20 years in uncle sam's service in the u.s. army. he arrived in the u.s. and couldn't speak a lick of english. when beed knew him, carlos still had a puerto rican accent but his english and his grammar was better than the average kentuckian. (yup beed knows that is a backhanded compliment and beed loves kentuckians as he are one now, but let's be honest, we can butcher the queens english)
when carlos would get excited he would make the occasional mistake and there was not much that excited him more than women. occasionally he would say "i tell u what dahbeed, i f'in love womans" u see, the plural of mujer (woman) in spanish is mujeres (women). there is no vocalic change, it doesn't change from mujer to mujar like we do with woman and women. u can see how he would make that common mistake, especially when it was a subject that excited him.
carlos was also from the old school latino thinking that womans were the flowers of the world and men were the bees and it was our requisite charge to try and pollinate as many flowers as we could. it didn't matter that he was married. beed will tell u this, as he has spent a lot of time in latin america and has spoken to both men and women on the subject. it is almost an accepted practice down there for a man to be married and still have a girlfriend on the side.the man is not to flaunt it. the wife does not like it at all but most women down there have an opinion that men are weak creatures of the flesh and cannot help themselves in this matter. and don't get caught ....... as latina women have terrible tempers ....... remember lorena bobbitt ..... she was a latina, nuff said.
that is one helluva long explanation to a title. beed is tired already and hasn't even really addressed his subject matter.
beed loves women. beed is married and loves his esposa but beed loves women. women are definitely the more refined creature of the species. beed loves their long elegant fingers. they don't have pudgy little cigars for digits like we men have. beed also loves women with long elegant necks. beed told ya'll in his first post he was one twisted sick individual and warned u about coming back for more of his daily insanity.
beed loves to watch women doing the little things that they would consider trivial but amaze dahbeed. whilst sitting at a red light this morning beed looked in his rear view mirror and there was a young lady, prolly late 20's with her daughter, prolly 8 or 9. it was a long light and beed watched as this woman started fluffing her hair and then running her fingers through it and finally pulled it into a pony tail and then put one of those things around it to hold it ....... aren't they called scrunchies or something like that?
that little skill has always amazed beed as he has watched women do it as easily as they take in a breath. but beed has never really thought it looked easy to do. they have to hold the tail, then take the scrunchie thing and pull it on and then stretch it out and repeat a couple more times.
since beed's progeny are both male creatures, he has never had a little girl that he would have to teach these life skills to. is there a guidebook somewhere that women use to teach their daughters all of these little skills of the land of estrogen? beed is just curious because as he said earlier, it is something women do as a second nature and it is something that beed loves. keep it up women, u will never know when a twisted, sick individual like dahbeed is watching u do something that u consider trivial and he considers amazing.
due to an extremely strong will, and a deep seated fear of going to either jail or a sanatorium, beed has yet to rush up to a woman fixing a pony tail and blurt out "I THINK I'M IN LOVE FOR THE 97,895TH TIME!!!!!!"
your sick friend,
the honorable sir beedly
posted by dahbeed at 4:39 PM
3 Comments:
I love it! You see women the way we want to be seen! Your wife must be very happy!
9:01 AM
I'm with Valerie on this one. I guess I need to grow out my hair and put it into a ponytail while sitting at every stoplight in Louisville all day every day. Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all this time -- no ponytails. If only I had hair long enough all these years...hmmmmm. What a lucky wife you have!
and you know that women do the same thing with men...just the smallest, strangest little thing will rock our world...but, of course, we're not telling what those little things are.... ;)
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