the ONLY white boy on the bus!

it wuz a bus on par with this one and beed wuz the only gringo on the damn thing. more on that later.....some background first. dahbeed has been on 20 medical/dental mission trips to honduras and nicaragua. he's done just about every job on the team except play doctor or nurse. he has pulled some teeth before but that is for another story.

it was a baptist organization and they are doing wonderful things in central america. they roll into a little village with around 50 plus gringos and prolly at least 20 of the local mission staff. anyhoo, two years before beed had befriended 2 young boys in a village named oropoli, he became such good friends with the boys and their families that they trusted beed and some of his friends to take them to snorkel up in some caribean islands and the next year to some mayan ruins.

well they knew beed wuz coming down again and they wanted to go work with our team. they met us at the mission house but there wasn't going to be enough room for them so beed grabbed them, shared a cab with a doctor from mobile alabama and his daughter and a pharmacist and we went to get a hotel room. we would catch a cab the next morning to meet the mission team before it headed out on a 9 hour bus ride.

well, let's just say that beed, the doc and the pharmacist were a little more liberal about imbibing than the rest of the mission team.....we woulda been booted to say the least. but we were at a hotel and not representing the mission team so we didn't mind having a few adult beverages amongst friends. needless to say, one shot of ta'-kill-ya (tequila) led to another and the next morning was none too kind to the beed's cabeza (head).

we packed our gear up, caught a cab and loaded up on the bus with the rest of the team. beed is dyin' and is sittin' with one of the boys....jairo....and is resting his head on his forearms on the seat in front of him tryin' to sleep amidst several rounds of kumbaya being sung at a fever pitch. we were about 2 hours outside of the capital city...tegucigalpa....and were gettin' ready to stop and load up some supplies when beed's head shot up as he realized sumpin'.

HOLY F'IN SHIT!!!!!!!!! beed had hidden his money between the mattresses at the hotel and forgot to get it out that morning. an already queasy stomach got even sicker as beed knew that whatever poor maid cleaned up his room would be tellin' him "no senor, we no haf no monee, we no fine no monee in joo room" it was 320.00 dollars u.s. and beed wuz now getting pale.

beed went to the team leader and told him about the mistake. since beed had been on so many trips before the leader suggested beed catch the next bus back into town and go to the hotel and then just take buses on his own for the 9 hour trip. so beed and jairo and melvin walked down to the bus stop and caught the next bus back. we didn't call because we didn't want to tip them off. at the bus station in tegu we grabbed a cab back to the hotel.

we went up to the manager and told him we had left something in the room so he called the maid. she said she had not found anything and beed just said, "let me in the room and i'll show u" they let beed in and he went straight to the bed as the manager and maid looked on at beed like he was a crazy gringo. beed lifted the mattress and let out a sigh of relief when he found his stash of cash. beed bets that poor little old honduran maid checked every mattress on every bed she made after that.

okay, cab back to the bus station. we grab a bus that will take us from tegu to danli, a city about the size of bowling green. this bus was a big greyhound type bus but it was very old and in poor shape but it was at least not crowded.

we get off that bus in danli and purchase tickets from danli to las trojes, the final destination. here is where the fun comes in as dahbeed is the only white face that he sees in a very crowded bus terminal. beed and jairo and melvin traipse ovah to the bus for las trojes. it's completely empty. beed counts the seats and if one person sat where one person was supposed to sit that bus would have held 24 people. but guess what, more than 24 people want on the bus and the bus driver being the entrepreneur that he was, was more than happy to oblige all of us.

by the time they got finished jamming us on there like sardines in a tin, there were around 58 people give or take a honduran.....and beed was damn sure the only gringo on there. but beed has done a bunch of traveling and that shit don't bother him.

u better be comfortable with your masculinity in a situation like that as u are truly asshole to bellybutton. a funny thing happened as we were traveling. there was a pretty young lady right next to beed and he was watching her and her grandmother as beed could not turn in any direction. this is how jammed in we were. oh yeah, u better be comfortable with the the odors of the bodies of people that routinely work in 90 degree plus heat. but beed's a trooper. he can handle it.

anyhoo, breast feeding is a common thing down there. they have not perverted the female breast where it is only a sex object like we have in the states. many a time women would be standing in the clinic line and just whip it out and stick a baby right to it to suckle. they think nothing of it as it is a natural thing. but this girl was probably around 17 years old and obviously had not seen to many white folks in her young life. anyhoo, this baby starts pawing at her.

beed could tell she didn't want to do it in front of him so, even tho' he could not physically turn his body he did avert his eyes. and her baby was not to be denied, he was pawing the hell out of her and grandma is giving her the what for about not feeding the baby. finally the baby won the battle for the boob and was immediately quieted. after about 2 hours on the road enough people had gotten off of the bus that it opened up seats for the rest of us.

around 9:00 that night beed and jairo and melvin finally drag their tired hungry asses into the mission complex. supper was already done but beed learned early on to befriend the cook and she was able to whip up some sammiches for us.

the moral of this story, don't hide your money under the mattress or don't drink any ta'-kill-ya.

but it was still an interesting day in the life of the beedster.

sinceremente, (sincerely)

el blanquito (the little whitey)