bullshitters.......why do they bother?

okay, let beed get this rant out of his system before he pontificates on bullshitters. beed HATES assholes that have to talk on a cellphone and let it effect their already pitiful driving skills. today beed had a craving for a steak and shake double cheeseburger. but that meant he had to circumnavigate scottsville road at lunch hour.

beed got behind one male idiot in a p.o.s. car that was more interested in his cell phone conversation than paying attention to driving. then he got behind a stupid ho' in a lexus that was suffering from the same malady. if ya'll evah read the daily snooze about some lunatic that cut another driver off and then was arrested for shoving a cellphone up another driver's asshole then if u love beed u will come down and bail him out.

beed is a lovah not a fightah but people that think they absolutely have to be flapping their gums instead of driving can push the beedstah to near insanity and it almost happened at lunch today.

okay, beed, calm down......breathe in......breathe out.

allright.....back to bullshitters. eveybody works with at least one. they tell some bullshit story and u stand there and try to keep your mouth from dropping open because of the totally unbelievable story that they are relaying to you. somebody please post a comment to this post and explain to beed how someone can honestly think you are so f'in moronic that you would believe the fiction that they are telling you.

back when beed was an electronics technician one of his co-workers (another e.t.) told him a story about when he was in vietnam. now beed has the utmost respect for veterans. but hayzues cristo on a popsicle stick. the story beed is fixin' to relate would not be believed by anyone with a double digit i.q.

one day this co-worker....let's call him george (that is his real first name) told beed and some co-workers that when he was in 'nam that he and his buddies had trained a rat (that's right, a f'in RAT) how to sniff out booby traps. he said that this rat could pick out a trip wire and then walk to the other end and find out what it was attached to.

beed can just picture this rat......walkin' through the bush......holding up it's little paw in a shhhhhh gesture and then following the trip wire until it found the ultimate bomb. but it gets better. this rat was so intelligent it was able to teach the company dog (perro) how to do the same.

now beed likes to get into the firewater but he ain't nevah been drunk enough to believe that a freakin' rodent could perform those abilities and then teach 'em to a dog. this bullshitter also told us that when they were firing artillery and some of the shells would jam that this rat would push the jammed shell with it's little paws until it was ready to fire.

here is what beed wants to know.......ya'll remember beed wants to know why someone does something instead of what they do. why do they tell stories like this? do we look that f'in dumb that we will quiz them with...."what did u name the rat?" "do you think he should have been put up for promotion?"

beed has worked with some bullshitters that if u added up all their stories of what they did in their past they would need to be 78 years old when you knew they were in their mid-fourties. what drives them to tell such outlandish stories? do they really think you will believe them?

anyhoo, whenever beed thinks of the rat story he just busts a freakin' gut thinkin' about it. he has to put it in his "bullshit hall of fame". c'mon......whatever few poor souls visit beeds rambling blog......tell beed in the comments section what is the biggest bullshit story you have ever listened to. what story just had you shaking your head and saying......"do i look that damn stupid?" please don't answer that one to beed as he knows he looks that stupid.

but for the life of beed....please tell him he ain't the only one that works with folks that tell tall tales.

your buddy,

paul bunyan (dahbeed)