a southern man to the bones.....beed

beed was born and spent his first five years in flarda.....that's how people down there used to say it.

so beed has always considered himself a southerner at heart. much more so than these kain-tuckians he's surrounded by. not that kain-tuckians are a bad thing. but in beed's humble o-pin-eeeon they are not truly southerners.

kain-tuckians are more moderate by nature. hell, we couldn't even make up our mind at all during the war of northern aggression.....hehe, that's what southerners called the civil war anyhoo.

beed's great grandma told him he had family members fight on both sides. she said some of our families had brothers fighting for different sides.

can you imagine that? you join one army and your brother is fighting for the other side. what the hell happens if by some strange twist of fate you both end up at the same battle? do you shoot at your brother? beed cannot imagine doing that no matter how impassioned he felt on an issue.

anyhoo, beed digresses. beed can cook the hell out of some southern food. growing up pretty po' means that we ate freakin' beans every single night. pinto beans....the poor man's meat. oh yeah, we ate the hell out of some yardwalker too. that's southern for chicken in case ya' didn't know.

yesterday beed fixed a large pot of pinto beans to which he added two packages of ham pieces. son, if beed hadn't fixed anything else that in itself was a meal. beed also taught miguelito how to cook mashed potatoes.

miguelito wanted to help peel the potatoes so beed tried to show him how. since beed cannot turn off his competitiveness he can turn potato peeling into bloodsport. miguel only peeled dos (2) taters to beed's diez (10) taters.

it was total annihilation. of course beed only has about 38 years of peelin' experience on miguel so the results should have been expected. then beed grilled out some center cut pork tenderloin.

you could almost cut that swine with a fork. let's see, ham pieces in the beans, pork tenderloin as the main course.....the honorable elijah mohammed would have been very disappointed in dahbeed yesterday.

the last thing beed cooked and it was because it cooks the fastest was a big old head of cabbage. and since beed fixed enough of everything to feed an army, we are set for supper again tonight.

man beed loves homemade mashed potaters. get those f'in flakes away from him. they can do in a pinch but there is no comparison. the only thing missin' was a big ole glass of sweet tea.

one of beed's litmus tests on bein' southern or not is on how you eat your grits. if you put cream and sugar on them like they are cream of wheat or oatmeal then in beed's book you are yankee by nature.

if you slather them with butter, salt and pepper and pour them over the top of your over easy eggs and chop them all up into one big mess, then by the power vested in beed you are a southerner.

beed ate that combination every morning of his childhood. and still loves to fix it that way on some saturday mornings. that shit will stick to your ribs all morning long.

on the casa front, the tree cuttin' down folks are supposed to come out to the casa today and cut down those 3 gum maples that beed hates. no more spikey little balls will be dropped on the beed front lawn. beed will be sowing some grass where those muthas used to be as soon as the stump grinder downer guy gets out to get rid of the stumps.

beed already sowed some seed in some bald spots of the lawn and covered it with straw so beed has been gussyin' up the joint. next major project to be done at the end of this mez (month) is to drain the pool, repaint it and get it ready for the summer season.

so much work to do and only one beed to do it. ouch!

your buddy,

the gussy upper,

dahbeed.